Dear Husband,
Today I opened my eyes at 3 in the morning as our 4 week old baby girl woke up. It was time to feed her. I quickly sat up to carry her so that her cry wouldn’t wake you up. At around 5am I woke up startled because I realized I had fallen asleep while breastfeeding her – my neck hurt because I fell asleep sitting in an upright position as I always sit in the middle of the night while breastfeeding to avoid dozing off into dreamland (it didn’t work this time LOL). As you woke up at 7am to get ready for your long Monday, I woke up while you showered to serve your coffee to-go and make you a quick breakfast sandwich for the road. From the kitchen I heard our Darla River’s cry, so I ran to breastfeed her on our bed. I was fighting sleep while feeding her because I wanted to kiss you goodbye at the door like I do every morning before you leave to work. But my eyelids were not cooperating and you noticed. You told me to stay in bed, said “I love you” and kissed me goodbye.
I woke up an hour later to take advantage of precious time as our 3 babies were still sleeping to seek God, shower, squeeze into my waistband AKA faja and work on pending things from my mental To-Do List with my coffee mug in hand. Soon after, our toddlers woke up one after the other and I put on my invisible Super Mama cape to tackle Monday although my physical and mental energy were at an all-time low.
We ate our breakfast despite two bathroom breaks from our potty-trained Caleb Beau. A few things that occurred before noon (with our toddlers that we’re striving to raise low-tech) were:
- Made fun shapes with Play-Doh
- Broke up a few possible kiddie fights between our toddlers
- Played with Megablocks
- Said good morning to Darla
- Caleb & Olivia overwhelmed Darla with hugs and kisses
- Our toddlers raced around the house while pushing their little chairs
- Nonstop toddler laughter over simply hearing each other’s chuckles (Don’t you just love their laugh!)
- Changed a few diapers
- Breastfed Darla
- Ran back and forth to the potty
- Bath-time while Darla napped
Our afternoon was a mix of reading, singing, and then eating lunch (did I mention how I breastfed our hungry newborn with one hand and feeding Caleb and Olivia with the other hand? Talk about some serious multi-tasking there.) We played a little more until it was time for their nap. As I picked up Olivia to change her diaper and put her down for her nap, Caleb watched a 10 min. episode of his favorite show. He then asked for “One moa” so I let him watch one more because he is the sweetest little boy who knows he has my heart. Then it was nap time for Caleb.
Finally a sound of silence for what seemed like a solid 10 seconds but then Darla. She was wide awake. I stared into her eyes and spoke to her and she cooed. Then it was Darla’s nap time as well. With at least an hour in the afternoon of “free-time” the ideal [and highly needed] thing to do would have been to nap also, but being the busy-bee mama that I am, I felt like napping would mean wasting my time, so instead I chose to work on things from that mental To-Do List. Boy, did that hour fly! Olivia Joy woke up first. After holding and comforting her for 15 mins., we bonded a bit. Then Caleb woke up, I carried him and also held him for a few mins. They ate snacks and played before you came home. A few minutes before you arrived, I quickly put on a tad of makeup and sprinkled perfume to make up for all the perspiration that comes with breastfeeding a newborn. LOL!
When we heard your keys, our toddlers ran to the door to welcome you and so did I. You ate a little bit and were happy to see your loves. Then you got ready to head to the Men’s Leadership meeting at our church. That ½ hour of seeing their daddy, meant the world to them. Caleb cried a little because he wanted to leave with you. You kissed him and told him how much you loved him. You kissed your girls goodbye as well and off you went.
I fed them dinner, we danced to their favorite playlist, we did several potty stops, I breastfed again, a few more diaper changes for our girls, we read more books, they ran all over the house, we played Peek-A-Boo too many times and once again bed-time was approaching. I prepped them for bed, put Olivia down first, then did Caleb’s bedtime routine. We prayed, said I love you, and off he went to dreamland.
Quickly after, I bathed Darla and breastfed her before putting her down for the night (though she would wake up 4 hours later). Once she went down to sleep, I started to feel my back ache which was actually aching all day but had been ignored due to the busy day. My body ached perhaps because of the moments I had to carry our toddlers. I had a slight headache as well so I decided to get ready for bed and lie down. After, you arrived from your meeting and we asked each other about our day. Both our Mondays were busy but I spared you the details. We spoke and gave each other our undivided attention, all the while, I asked a few questions to things you had indeed answered a day or two before but thanks to sleep deprivation, I had forgotten. Then you picked out your button-down shirt for me to iron as you got ready for bed. We flipped through the channels, spoke a bit more, turned off the TV, looked into each others eyes, said I love you and kissed goodnight.
This was a glimpse of my day. I know you had a good but long day too! When you ask me how my day was, this is the somewhat unabridged version of it. You’ve never heard me complain about my day because through it all, God gave me the wisdom and strength to wisely manage time. But even then, there are a few moments I may feel like I’m running on empty but I get refueled in prayer. You probably have not heard me mention my body ached until now. I know I’ve been quite forgetful lately too, due to the lack of a full night’s sleep. Though I feel better each day, my body is still recovering inside and out from my 3rd c-section in under 3 years. Mentally, physically, and emotionally, I am getting back to my pre-baby self soon.
Thank you for being an understanding and patient husband through it all because I know I wouldn’t be able to do it without your loving support. You are the most loving and caring daddy to our babies. And thank you for providing for our family so that I am able to choose to stay home. You make me feel beautiful, protected, and loved especially in moments like this. You’ve understood that this newborn stage will soon pass and together we’ve learned to embrace it because even through it all, it’s one of my most cherished stages. This is not our forever, this is our now. In the weeks to come, we’ll continue to watch our babies grow and together we will soon turn the page to the next exciting chapter of our rad story where there is definitely more sleep for me.
